I can't breathe!
Son of a bitch!
I'll be damned! Thanks, kid!
Ping, cut us loose, cut us loose.
Cut me loose, Ping!
Go ahead, cut me.
Cut me.
It's all right.
You okay, honey?
I owe you one, kid.
The keys to your car.
-They're in the car. -I got car.
We need a radio.
We have to go, baby.
Let's go.
How are we going to find them? We got to catch them assholes!
3-William-56, this is Air 12, go ahead.
We need your eyes, guys.
We're looking for a black Mercedes and a black Lincoln Continental.
Vicinity of Ladera at the 210 freeway.
Black Mercedes and black Continental, huh?
Shouldn 't be too hard to find in this town.
Look, just give it a shot, will you, guys?
Be cooperative.
That's a roger.
Will wonders never cease?
We've got 2 black Mercedes, one heading east, one heading west.
Eastbound one got on the Valley View ramp.
East, okay.
We'll take it. Locate the Continental.
Roger.
-Is that the right one? -I don't know.
But we're going east and China's east.
China's west too.
-We can't divide. -I'll think positive.
You crossed two lanes!
Do you see him?
Watch the road!
I'd give my right arm for a siren!
Why'd they take the Hongs anyway?
Maybe they're shaking them down for more money.
Hong's uncle paid already.
He got in touch with his uncle.
He left a message for him. That's how they know where I live.
Out of the way!
Go, go, go!
There it is! There's the son of a bitch right there!
Bastards left us to burn! I want to have a chat with them!
You don't have any guns!
Get me right up behind this trailer.
But you're driving!
You're driving!
There's cruise control! Just steer!
Why you always make shit complicated?!
Closer.
Don't be shy. Get up there.
You crazy son of a bitch!
Closer! Closer!
That's it!
Thanks.
Hey, asshole! Come on in!
I need to ask you. Where's the Hongs?
Where are they?
Fuck!
Come on, get him!
Watch out!
Highway Patrol, this is William-356...
...heading southbound on highway!
Officer in trouble! Oversized trailer.
LAPD! Pull over! LAPD!
LAPD! Pull over!
Pull over! See that?!
Right! Fuck you!
Shit!
Anybody there? I got a crazy ass with a phony badge trying to pull me over!
Get away from my boy!
Son of a bitch!
I got you!
Hold on!
Get in! Come on, get in here!
Get in here!
Shit!
Ready?
-Welcome back. Shit. -What a drag.
Thanks, Rog.
-What about the Hongs? -We'll ask the other guy. Go!
Pull over! Pull over! Son of a bitch!
IKeep your hands inside then!
Get out of the way!
Wait! There he is! There he is!
-IKeep going! -I'm going.
We're gaining on him.
Don't worry, I got him.
Son of a bitch!
-You okay? -Yeah, I think my heart's still beating.
Maybe a little too close.
You are now entering an international holding area.
Please have proper documentation ready.
Sorry, Rog, about your loss.
Thank you, man.
How's my hero?
He's a little bit sad. He's talking about his mom and dad.
Here's Butters.
How's it going, Riggs?
Why are you here?
I heard it on the radio.
I'm really sorry about your house.
This is Detective....
Butters.
-Trish, my wife. -How you doing, Trish?
Nick.
Carrie.
Rianne.
Everybody okay?
You get a make on who did this?
It was Uncle Benny.
-Who's Leo? The little Fonzie guy? -You got a phone?
That's him.
-You be okay? -Yeah, we'll be all right.
Call me.
The kids have their place. Rianne has hers.
He's there?
We'll be right there.
Can you drive us?
Yeah, let's do it.
I'll call you.
Man, sit down.
Captain Murtaugh...
...l know this is a bad time...
...but...
...l think there's something you need to know about me.
-This is hard for me to-- -I think maybe I know what it is.
You do?
It's okay.
It is?
People have the right to do what makes them happy. Don't expect me to like it.
I know this must be real hard for you.
It's impossible for me!
I was hoping we could get together around the holidays, say Christmas.
Why the hell should we get together and see each other on Christmas?
-I'm trying to reach out. -Reach somewhere else.
Do what you want, but leave me out of it.
-I got it. -I don't want to hear no more about it.
Not a word.
What you grinning about? Think about how we can talk to Benny.
I got it all worked out.
What's the matter with you?
My ass hurts. My tooth! ls this a dentist's office or a proctologist's?
-Just please be quiet. -I'm trying! I'm in pain!
Why don't you go see your own dentist and be quiet?!
My dentist is in Detroit or I would go!
-Oh, brother. -Oh brother, your ass! Get the dentist!
Doctor, I'm sorry to bother you. We have an emergency.
A man walked in off the street. He's in a lot of pain. You better come.
Okay, you can come in now!
-You sure Leo can pull this off? -Leo's got a B.S. in B.S.
Coast is clear.
Talk to the hand, okay? One second.
Okay, okay. Wait a minute.
Let me. Let me do my job!
You hurt me, I'll stick an egg roll right up your ass.
-What's this? -Don't be alarmed.
It's only a drill.
Don't say a word.
Shut up.
Now....
Where are the Hongs? Open wide and tell me.
I don't know any Hongs.
You do. Their uncle paid you to get them out of China.
More smuggling? We went through that.
Let's go through it again.
-Come on. -I have nothing to say.
These look very interesting.
You're not going to use it.
You won't shoot me.
-You're lousy cops. -We're good cops. Here.
This'll settle him down.
Breathe, Uncle Benny. Breathe.
Breathe.
Crank up the nitrous.
Crank that baby up.
You said it wasn't going to hurt!
I'm holding this. Go ahead.
Deep. Right down to your toes. Thataboy.
He's wasted!
-Great, great. -Have some more.
He'll talk. Yeah, he'll talk.
Thataboy. Breathe.
-That's me. -That's you.
Now, where are the Hongs?
-What's renminbi mean? -Renminbi means...
...renminbi.
-You're a funny guy. -This guy's wasting our time.
Time!
-Time for Four Fathers! -Forefathers!
Washington, Jefferson, those guys?
Roosevelt?
I'm sleeping with my wife's 2 sisters.
You lucky son of a bitch.
That's a good one.
Not so good...
...when my wife finds out.
I don't need needles!
Let's shoot his legs with Novocain and watch him try to get out of here.
What you got there?
A nut cup.
I got some big nuts!
That's nitro--
Oxide!
Laughing gas!
We're stoned!
Murtaugh! Hurry up!
That's one funny son-in-law you got there, Rog.
After tonight, it be too late.
Too late? Too late for what?
Why did you call him my son-in-law?
Who? Uncle Benny? He's far too old.
Old coot.
Buy Four Fathers back at Four Fathers' store.
Why's he talking about his ancestors?
I don't know.
Why you call him my son-in-law?
Because I am!
I thought he was....
No, I'm....
Bloody marvelous!
Your baby is having my baby.
My baby is having his baby.
And your baby? Whoa, baby!
Whoa, baby! My baby!
What's going on? What are you doing?
I couldn't stall anymore.
What happened? Huh?
-What's going on? -Rog, look at this. Does that hurt?
Riggs, get out! Fine!
Whatever!
Anything happens to the Hongs we'll come back and rip you a new one.
A new one. That's two for Benny.
Bloody marvelous.
What are you, crazy?
What'd you do that for?
For keeping it from me.
Hit him, not me.
As soon as we find the Hongs, me, you and Rianne is getting into this.
Rimminy?
A young bimbo? A young jumping jiminy? I don't know.
I can't remember.
No, Riggs. Renminbi .
Say that again.
That's it!
You got it.
Means, "people's money. "
People's money?
What else did Benny say?
He was talking about his ancestor. About buying him back.
And something about how tonight's...
...too late. Mean anything to you?
No, nothing at all.
What about the guy who torched my house?
It was like Benny was afraid of him.
If Benny's scared of him, he's got to be a Chinese Triad.
Those guys'll kill anyone who gets in their way.
Including cops...
...and their families. So watch your asses, all right?
-Thanks, Ng. -IKeep me posted.
Pick up your wife, my daughter. Make sure she's safe.
I'll get Trish, you get Lorna. Her and Ping.
What?
You want to get married, don't you?
No.
Yes. Yes, I do.
But if you don't want to, it's okay.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because I didn't want to put any pressure on you.
If you want to someday, that'd be great.
If you don't...
...l love you.
I'll take you any way I can get you.
Feel that!
Feel the baby! He's really dancing.
He's kicking. You feel him?
Hang on!
You're okay.
Riggs. Pick up, Riggs.
Riggs, it's Murtaugh.
I'm sick of these fuckers. I say we just find them and shoot them.
-What do you think? -Meet me and Butters on South Spring.
What's going on?
They found my watch.
They killed Hong, his uncle, Uncle Benny too. Bodies are in there.
-Where's the rest of the family? -They're okay.
INS raided a Chinese sweatshop.
Hong's family was being held there and they led them back here.
They were making funny money.
Ink's still wet.
Where are the faces?
That's why I called it funny.
Why are they making Chinese money?
Can they even exchange the stuff here?
Only in China.
-Renminbi . -I remember.
Hong's uncle was an artist. Maybe an engraver.
Bringing over his family could've been how he was paid to do the job.
-That sounded thin. -It's not.
IKeep talking. What?
Benny said something about paying...
...buying back his forefathers.
What'd you say?
Benny said something about buying back his forefathers.
You said ancestors.
What's the difference?
The number four. Four Fathers.
They were the top guys of the Hong IKong Triad.
-These guys disappeared from prison. -Reds jailed them when they took over.
-I bet you they're here. -Damn, we're good.
Grab Ping. I don't want him to see the bodies.
1 0 to 1 , I know where the money is.
20 to 1 , I know where the Four Fathers are.
Let me make a call.
Don't leave without us.
That was good work. You must be a detective.
I have my moments.
Uncle Benny.
I was actually starting to like the old goat.
"Bloody marvelous."
And it's fried rice, "you plick."
Here.
-Which one is Hong? -Hong's right in front of you.
I want a complete set of forensics on all three.
Dads and their kids.
I'll take care of yours, buddy.
We got to go!
Take care of yourself.
Where're we going?
-L.A. Harbor. -What's there?
It's a foreign trade zone. A lot of deals go down with the Chinese military.
It's run by a corrupt Chinese general.
I got it, some corrupt Chinese general brought the Four Fathers here...
...and the Triad's buying their release.
That's what Uncle Benny meant by buying them back.
That general'll be shitting kittens when he sees the money's counterfeit.
Let's tell him.
Hi, gang.
LAPD.
I saw Hong.
This is what Benny meant by buying the Four Fathers. Harpo, Groucho, Chico...
...and Fucko. How are you, boys?
Who's the naughty general?
Who's been lining his pockets?
Naughty.
Speaky English?
What do you want?
See this?
I hope you need a lot of toilet paper because that's all it's good for.
Wiping your ass.
Take the Four Pops back to China. We don't give a shit.
The Four Pops.
Don't want them no more.
It's counterfeit.
Triads never prosper when they cheat a general.
See for yourself.
There you go. Money losing face. General losing face.
Very hard when Triad tried to sit on it.
I fucked you. I fucked you.
We fucked you.
-We fucked you. It's beautiful. -Beautiful.
Don't we get a hand?
IKeep your head down! Let them shoot each other!
Watch out!
Thanks!
Was this a good idea?
It was an idea!
-1 1 in the mag, 1 in the pipe. You? -Wheel gun. 6 shots.
Four!
What's going on? Why are you lying to me?
IA says you're on the take.
I'm on the take?!
I think it's crazy too! But you're spending a lot of money!
You ever hear of Ebony Clark?
Yeah! She writes those cheesy sex novels!
Are you boinking her?
No, I'm not boinking Ebony Clark, Riggs. Shit!
Trish is Ebony Clark.
You're boinking her!
Yeah, I'm boinking her.
I'm too embarrassed to tell anybody.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
How many you got?
Two.
I'll look for some more ammo.
Who's that in white pajamas?
Wah Sing IKu. The Four Father with him is his older brother.
No kidding.
Captain!
-Hey, Butters. -Shit! Shit!
Now you got my name right.
I'm out. I got to find some rounds.
I'll help you.
Never been shot before.
Take care of my son-in-law.
-You all right? -No. I got my ass kicked again.
Shit, I'm out. I'm out.
I hit the son of a bitch. I thought I missed him. Where'd they go?
Come on, come on.
Go.
We got Door Number 1 , Number 2, or Number 3.
-Looks like Number 2, Monty. -Let's go.
What's behind Door Number 2? Bingo.
Now you've done it.
Now he's really pissed.
Son of a bitch is going to be a handful.
Since I met you, I've done some hairy shit. But this won't happen.
I'm going to be a grandfather...
...and you and Lorna will have a baby.
He ain't worth dying for, Riggs. He ain't worth it.
Yeah, you're right.
And if he gets away we can track him down later with a howitzer or something.
Your son-in-law's bleeding. We should get him and go. It's raining and....
I'm too old for this shit too.
Guy's too damn good.
Yeah, he's good. How'd he do that thing with the gun?
He took my gun apart with one deft move. How did he do that?
How?
Yeah, okay.
Let's go ask him.
Are you up there?
Are you all right?
Where are you, Riggs?
Will it to me, Riggs!
Where are you?
Will it to me!
Will me, Riggs, will me.
You going to have a baby. Will me, you son of a bitch. God! Will me!
I hear you, Riggs.
I hear you.
I got you.
I'm coming!
I heard you, Riggs! I heard you!
You willed me to it! You willed me, baby!
What took you so long?
What took me so long?! What the hell do you think?!
I was knocked down over here!
I couldn't even get up!
Come back here!
Let's go home, man.
Let's get out of here.
I haven't been here enough lately, Vicki. I'm sorry.
I need to talk to you about Lorna. Me and Lorna.
It's like this. She wants to get married...
...and I love her. I won't lie to you. I do.
And I want to make her happy.
I'm looking for help here, honey.
I don't know what to do.
Funny talking to you about this stuff--
You want to get yourself shot?
What the hell are you doing here?
I was tailing you.
Sorry.
I'll leave you alone, okay? I guess you want to be alone.
I appreciate it.
When I was a kid...
...l had a pet frog.
What?
Just give me a second. Let me tell you this, okay?
I had this pet frog. His name was Froggy.
He was my best friend in the world.
I didn't have lots of friends.
Matter of fact...
...l had no friends...
...and...
...l used to kiss the frog too.
I thought maybe...
...it would turn into a princess since I was a boy...
...and it could be...
...my mother.
They told me that she...
...left or something.
And my father was no bargain.
And so, just the frog.
Froggy was my friend.
I really loved him and I took him everywhere with me.
And I was riding on my bike one day...
...and he jumped out of the box...
...and I ran him over with the back tire.
I killed him.
I was really heartbroken. Really.
He was my best friend, the only thing I ever loved.
And then I met you...
...and Roger.
And you guys really looked after me a lot more than you really had to.
I'm terrible to you, Leo.
No, no, it's okay.
It's okay.
You're my family...
...and my friends.
You're not better friends than Froggy. You're just different.
And...
...l just thought that maybe that might be relevant.
Okay, I'll leave you alone now.
I got a funny f--
What's wrong?!
I'm having a baby.
Lorna beeped me.
Yep, it's Lorna. She's having the baby.
-I'll get the car. -I'll be behind you.
You sure picked a strange angel, honey.
But I got the message.
I got the message.
I'll always have this.
Always have you.
In here and here.
Thanks, honey.
I got to go. Bye.
I am not ready to have this baby!
You're as ready as you're going to be.
Fine! Just wheel me in.
My legs are staying closed!
Give me this!
Now, now, ma'am, let go!
I am a police officer! And I am not ready!
Are you all right?
-Are you the husband? -Yes.
Honey, are you all right?
No, I'm not. I said I didn't want to get married but I do.
I want to be a wife before I'm a mother. I just lied.
I know you don't want to.
-You said "okay"? -Yes, I did. Okay.
Let's do it. Okay.
He said okay.
-Congratulations. -He said okay, Leo.
Oh, my God.
What's that smell?
I was on my way to the toilet and she grabbed me.
I'm so sorry.
Have a nice baby!
I'm so sorry.
Will you marry me?
You bet I will.
Let's go.
I'm not going! Wait! No, no, wait!
Please, Riggs.
-Get a minister. -Now?
Right now. We're getting married. Here comes another one.
But we need a license, a blood test--
Before the baby comes!
It's coming now.
Listen, I am getting married or there is no baby.
This could be an aspect of a transition phase.
This is no goddamn aspect of a transition phase!
Honey, everybody, calm down.
Calm down. Calm down. Okay?
-Get a priest, minister, anything. -Where?
Leo, go get a priest! Goddamn it, Leo!
I got it, I got it. Okay, okay.
Pant, pant, blow. Remember Lamaze class?
Pant, blow. Come on, pant, blow.
But I want to say "l do."
Here he is. Here he is.
This is Rabbi Gelb.
A rabbi?
You said anything, duh.
He'll do.
For what, I'll do? What?
Marry us.
-Marry you? -Please.
-You're Jewish? -Not necessarily.
-You got a license? -No.
Rabbi, please don't go.
She needs to hear the words before the baby comes.
Are you both serious about this? I don't have time for hijinks.
We're really very serious.
I could do it. It wouldn't be official.
I just want to hear the words.
What the hell. What are your names?
I'm Martin and this is Lorna.
Martin and Lorna.
What am I doing? How do the goyim do this?
Dearly beloved.
Dearly beloved, marriage is a spiritual unity....
Faster, faster! She's heading for the home stretch.
Martin, will you take Lorna to be your wife?
Will you honor, love, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
-...until death do you part? -I will.
Lorna, will you take Martin to be your husband?
-Etcetera, etcetera. The same thing. -I do.
I pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride. You already did.
-All right, let's go. -No, wait, wait!
Hold it! Hold it!
What is...?
I need this! I need this glass!
-No, goddamn it! -I need it!
What are you doing?!
Talk to the hand, okay? I'll be right back.
You know how long it took me to fill that thing? All day!
This is unsanitary. What is this?
-Break it. -And get piss on my shoes?
You got to do this!
-Mazel tov ! -Okay, let's go.
Come back here, you little son of a bitch!
Pant, pant, blow, pant.
Leo, please.
Your work is over here now. I think someone else needs you.
Good luck, Lorna, Riggs.
Thanks a lot.
Stick around. Meet the kid.
Good luck, Lorna! Okay, okay.
Here it comes, here it comes.
Here he is.
He's looking right at you. He knows it's you.
Rog, look what I found.
-Look at that. -Boy, what a beauty.
Look at those eyes!
-He looks like his mother. -Yes, he does.
Murtaugh! Murtaugh!
-No, Butters! -That's right.
Butters' baby. Better not be Murtaugh.
It's Butters, Butters, Butters.
Look at that baby.
Look at the hair.
That's my baby!
Look at her. You're so cute. Look at you.
27 people. Nobody thought of bringing a camera?
Leo, your plastic's flaccid.
These machines take your plastic, they wreck it, then give you the camera.
The camera doesn't work. They're trying to--
No, no, please.
What you doing here?
Look at these two babies.
Just a little something from the squad.
Thank you.
-Give me back those captain badges. -What for?
Congratulations. You're sergeants again. The city's self-insured.
I thought they'd make us president.
By the way, Grandpa, you owe the Chief one.
He went to bat for you with the INS and they're giving asylum to the Hongs.
All right!
We're taking a picture.
We're going to take a picture.
Get in the picture.
Squeeze together. Candy-stripers out.
Out, out, okay, okay. Out.
I can't. There's not enough room. Sorry.
You got to back up.
I'm taking big steps!
Get this guy to take it.
Doc, do me a favor? Take a picture of all of us?
-It's my best man, after all. -Closer.
Get my grandbaby in it too.
Are you all friends?
No. We're family!
Okay, on 3.
One...two...three